If These Wings Could Fly
by BlairxProdz
Summary: When Damon feeds Elena his blood, she's sure she hates him. But things change, and so does her feelings for Stefan. Soon Elena is tired of fighting her feelings for him and is ready to head straight in.
1. Chapter 1: Desperation At It's Finest

Chapter One: How desperate I've become

I hadn't seen Damon today.

I mean, it's not like I'm waiting to see those glassy eyes that tend to teeter between grey and blue, because they're confusing, sometimes they appear a light silver with flecks of blue and other times, they're just blue, soulful and full of experience.

But like I said, I'm not expectant of his appearance.

**O**r...

_or maybe I am_…

Shaking my head, I continue to fold my jeans into the dresser-drawer, but for the millionth time that day, my eyes wander over to my cellphone thats lying gently on the bed, on the white blankets.

A memory surfed for a second, Damon lying beside me with his hands tucked under that big head of his. I remember telling him I was tired, and closing my eyes, although I hadn't slept at all that night, I kept feeling his piercing gaze on me while I was "resting". And disappointingly enough, I remember hearing a whoosh, opening my eyes and seeing that the place where Damon laid was empty and crumbled , and the window open, cold air rushing at my skin. I had gotten up, shut the window and dropped onto the warm spot where his skin had touched.

The phone vibrated against the bed, it was like I could feel the vibration though I wasn't near it. I launched myself at the bed and pressed talk, forgetting to look at the Caller I.D.

"Damon?"

"No, it's Stefan." I cursed myself.

_No Elena, you're not supposed to call out your boyfriend's brother's name while talking to your boyfriend._

"I haven't seen Damon all day." Stefan finished, and I sank onto the bed, twirling a straight lock around my finger.

"Good riddance, right?" I tried all my sincerity in that one sentence.

Stefan sighed. "I suppose." I could hear the chair he's sitting in creak as he leaned back in it.

"So, what made you call?" I ask, abandoning my hair for the loose thread on my shirt.

Stefan makes a sound under his breath. "Klaus is still out there, you know. Which means it is my duty to check on you."

I sighed, the awkwardness was really annoying me. "Stefan, you don't have to do this…" I said, finally, honesty in my tone. "Pretend you're happy with me, if you're angry just tell me."

There was silence.

"Elena...I-I really don't know what to tell you," he trailed. "You went behind my back and chose to sacrifice yourself."

I hated how much his words hurt. "I'm sorry, Stefan."

"And that's the thing," he cut in coolly. "You're not sorry, because you'd do it again any day. The single thing that you're sorry about is hurting me, and I'm not okay with that."

I'd barely seen Stefan this way, so sure and so certain-he was always confused or agreeing.

"And I accept that. But, Stefan you know I can't change how I feel."

Stefan was quiet for a while. "I know that, but I wish you felt differently."

"You know that Klaus thinks I'm dead, I mean he did kill me."

Stefan chose this moment to chuckle. "That doesn't mean anything, he could find out you're alive." He told me, which was very unlikely. "By the way, I'm sorry Damon fed you his blood."

Damn, the memory….

I know Damon loves me-loved me. He probably hates me now.

_But the thought of him biting into his own wrist and forcing his blood down my throat still sickens me. _

"It's-it's okay, Stefan it's not your fault." I smiled reassuringly though he couldn't hear me. "It's his." I finished, knowing full well it was, in fact, Damon's fault.

Stefan was silent, and I dreaded what he was to say next.

"You know he only did that because he loves you."

_Yeah, I doubt that._

I'd told him to stay away from me.

That I hated him.

And now, I feel like a fool now that he's not here.

_Comforting me…_

_Loving me. _

Because I was the one who pushed him away.

But the anger is still there.

The anger of his presence not being with me.

Gosh, Elena, who are you?

"But he did this to me, Stefan. Which means he doesn't really know what love is." I responded.

"He shouldn't have done it."

Suddenly, I didn't want to talk about it anymore. "So, where _is_ my least favorite Salvatore?"

Stefan sighed again, he did that alot. "Like I said before, I haven't seen him all day."

I was disappointed, enough to tell Stefan I'd be coming over.

Dressing wasn't really an issue, I just threw on a warm, close-knitted brown sweater and rammed my feet into some black boots. Before leaving the house I took one last longing look in the mirror and then scooped up a jacket just in case the weather decided to play tricks on me.

The air chilled as I pulled up to the Salvatore house and ducked out of the car, this moment recalled memories of a time I didn't know Damon, I'd come to see Stefan and admit my feelings, but I received something different entirely. I'd been scared by a crow and whirled only to meet a face, not Stefan's, but turned out to be his snarky brother, Damon.

The expression on Damon's face was unfathomable, and to be honest, the way he was staring at me would be similar to the way he would be gazing at my bare chest.

And of course I gawked, mouth agape. "Um-I was just-looking for-"

"Stefan?" At that moment I hadn't wondered how he'd known Stefan, but I was wondering who could have such a humming voice, so deep but beautiful to listen to. Sultry and torrid air hit me like a wave as I realized our proximity. "I imagine he's somewhere brooding."

The careless relax of his shoulders was starting to irk me, how could someone look so devastatingly alluring but so..._calm_? Like he didn't even try to look beautiful, like that was the manner in how he awoke and slept.

"Is he here?" I croaked just as this man stepped back from me. "Stefan?"

He shrugged nonchalantly and I liked just how broad and firm those shoulders were, like a person could attack them and the shoulders would be unbreakable.

"Not at the moment, and I'm sure if you stuck around long enough,you'd realize just how late he can be." And in that moment, this man smiled-_oh god_, it wasn't a regular one. One side went up before the other and crinkles rayed out from his small, piercing eyes. "He'll be here."

How could I ever?

But god, Imagine the things that would happen if I were left in a room, ALONE, with this man. God, I wouldn't know discipline. "I suppose." I'd said, surprisingly serene.

"So...how do you know Stefan?" He'd asked.

I scrunched up my eyes. "I'm sorry, wh-who are you?" I couldn't take not knowing someone like him. I just needed a name.

"I'm Damon," _damn_! He smiled again. "Salvatore." He stated, with a tilt of his head and my smile faded.

Salvatore?

As in...Stefan?

Damn, Elena-what are you to do?

What if-what if they were brothers and-and I come to the Boarding house regularly? And everyday I'm with Stefan I have to see him and avoid him because I can't restrain myself? What if I dream and moan out his name in my sleep? Oh shit. This was suicidal.

"Stefan's brother." I spoke with a neutral tone. "Are you?"

Damon shrugged again, turning his back to me now. "Good guess, and you?"

I swear, for a second I didn't know what he was talking about. "Elena," I licked my lips, then gnawed on my bottom one. "Elena Gilbert." I saw his eyes lighten.

"Gilbert…" He clicked his tongue. "You're that girl who survived that car accident with her parents, am I right?"

Of course.

That's what someone would remember you by.

I looked down for a moment. "Actually, they died and yes. That's me. _Gilbert_."

I don't know if this was a bad thing, but there was no sympathy in his eyes or face, and if there was, then he was brandishing a pretty well put-on. "Oh. Right."

"So, what about yours? Parents, I mean." I decided I didn't want to reflect about my own parents, maybe I should focus on someone else for a while. Like Damon Salvatore.

Damon's eyes darkened, a deep sea blue and I was plunging in the Wickery Bridge again, my mouth engulfed water. I saw dolor sorrow in his eyes and for a moment...Regret.

"Both..are dead." He spoke with such simplicity I'd forgotten it wasn't my business of how they died. Maybe I should just leave, and then find Stefan after school tomorrow.

"_But that's all in the past_." He said, leaving me speechless.

(Present Day.)

"Earth to Elena."

I blinked open my eyes, realizing I was standing outside the Salvatore Boarding house, on the porch my my hand balled and outstretched as if to knock, and Stefan had been waving a hand in my face. I blinked again and sighed loudly. "Sorry, I was just...thinking." _About him_.

"May I ask what?" Stefan dropped onto the long and narrow wooden bench on the porch.

I smirked. "No. But you can kiss me."

I got to my knees, letting him take both my hands and slip his fingers in between my own, I welcomed the kiss when it came. Two lovers, locked into a passionate embrace-well, let me rephrase that, two people-one who can't seem to tame her thoughts and fantasies, and the other-well, he's the real lover. Stefan slipped his hand into my hair and deepened the kiss.

It was slow, like watching the earth slowly turn. He released me, smiling with his winter-stained cheeks. "I guess I can settle with that." He added, raising me to my feet and placing me on his lap. There, I slanted my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes once again.

(Flashback.)

"I see you staring." Said Damon, from his "bar" by the couches. His hair was messy and dark, and he was wearing a plain white T-shirt, shortened sleeves and a V neck that revealed to me a strip of silvery skin. He was gulping down a lot of bourbon today, I wondered why.

I tore my eyes away from Damon, tucking thick hair behind my ear and clearing my throat softly, it was just another day in the Salvatore house. Where you get to see two vampire-brothers argue all the time. I remember what had gotten between the two.

Katherine Petrova, my doppelganger and Damon's..._Damon's_ _true_ _love._

I don't know why it hurt me so much, maybe it's because of the possibility that he could only be interested in me because I reminded him of her. I liked how protective and fierce he'd grown for me, and I wondered if it was because he loved me.

But that would be insane, right?

Damon couldn't love me.

(Present Day.)

"Two lovebirds, how cute."

His voice made my eyes snap open, startling me so much that I nearly fell off of Stefan. Damon's hand was tightened on the neck of a Bourbon bottle and his eyes were saggy with emotion.

Stefan gritted his teeth. "What are you doing out here?"

I wanted to glare at Stefan for using such a harsh tone. But knew I couldn't.

"I guess no reason." And with that, the dark and mysterious Damon Salvatore left us.

Stefan looked toward me, he must've guessed I was still angry at Damon for nearly turning me into a vampire but I wasn't. In fact, I was long over it and ready to forgive him-but I dreaded his response.


	2. Chapter 2: Wanting Him Bad

I awoke streaked with cold sweat, reached over to see if Stefan was still there. Thankfully he was, my boyfriend was lying like a dead person, his hands crossed over his chest. I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, lying my head on his chest as I took in the dark night.

I was without clothing under the blankets, in Stefan's bedroom and the alarm clock beside it said it was 4am. I still don't know what awoke me.

A crash startled me, but it somehow didn't wake Stefan. I crawled out of bed, freezing. Then I pulled on my lacy bra and then my jacket, the sweater would be too itchy and it wouldn't protect me from the cold. I zipped up my jeans before leaving Stefan's bedroom.

"_Damn it, damn it, damn it."_ It was Damon, he was only wearing gray boxer briefs, it would have been enough to make me swoon if I hadn't seen the shards of glass deep in his palm, I realized he had broken a cup and he was bleeding.

"Damon?" I voiced my concern and rushed over, not worrying if I stepped on glass at all. But as soon as I got there, Damon had yanked the shard out and the wound was healing. I sighed of relief and then my heart skipped a beat.

We were so close, his alabaster skin nearly pressing against mine. His bare adonis chest and the curve of his hips. It was only then-Damon wet his pink lips and then raked a hand through that mass of dark curls-that I realized he was gazing at my lips.

Was this what he wanted? Cause I could give it to him.

I swear I saw him leaning forward, and somehow so was I...It was all so magical and I was actually happy for a second when-"Elena?"

I spun so fast I nearly fell, Stefan was standing in the doorway with sleepy eyes. From the corner of my eye I saw Damon back away. "Stefan." I sighed, gliding over to him like air.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking from me to Damon and at first I thought he suspected something. "Were you bleeding?" He asked me.

I shook my head. "No. Damon was."

Damon grinned, that lopsided grin. "Don't worry, brother. I'll survive." He gripped a bourbon bottle and escaped. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

Stefan shut his eyes for a moment. "I-"

"That's just Damon, being Damon." I interrupted, grabbing for his hand. "Let's go back to bed."

When Stefan turned away, I looked back at the glass and blood, I wish...I wish I'd have kissed him. I wish I could have tasted the bourbon in his mouth, and the blood.

And I didn't regret wanting it.


	3. Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams

"So what do you think," He interlaced his hands with mine, a smile coming over his lips. Stefan kissed my hair softly, making me blush, "of a vacation, just the two of us?"

With my silence came worry and Stefan sighed, turning to look at me, we were in Stefan's 1963 red Porsche, and we were parked in the lot outside of Mystic Falls High. Of course it was stupid, skipping school while still technically there. But Stefan had used his compulsion and here we were. Hanging out at school. Perfect.

"Elena, it's fine. Everyone is going to be alright."

I sighed, gripping onto the collar of his jacket, and fishing for an excuse. "What if something happens while we're gone? What if-_what if Klaus comes back_?" I hissed, concern in my eyes.

"He won't."

Even though his words comforted me, I was still skeptical. Something could happen to Bonnie, or Caroline, even DAMON. Yeah, even Damon wasn't strong enough to take on an Original Vampire. I wouldn't want to leave him here to fend for himself.

"You're always worrying, always looking over your shoulder." Stefan sighed again. "Maybe you should take a break and be happy"-he paused for a second-"Be happy with me."

Okay, I was totally convinced. No Damon, no nothing. Just me and Stefan, no worrying if I'll lose control and do something to his brother. It was all going to be fine. I was going to be happy. But I couldn't leave my friends. "I am happy, and I'm pretty sure this trip would make me happier but...I can't risk it, Stefan."

"Right." Stefan looked disappointed, and it made me sad to know that. "No vacation."

In the end, Stefan had went home and Bonnie drove me back to my own home. I had went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I lingered for a moment. Staring at my eyes, my face-wondering why Stefan loved me. Why anybody loved me.

I strolled back into my bedroom, brushing the creases out of my pj boxers and crawling into the blankets, I couldn't turn off the lamp because I was alone and "dark" and "alone" didn't match. So I shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at the empty space in front of me.

But opening my eyes, I realized that wasn't the case. The empty spot was filled by none other than Damon Salvatore. Dark curls spilled over his face and sparkling blue eyes stared at me, before I could streak to my feet and begin screaming, "Egad! Egad!" He placed a hand over my shoulder, calming me, I was wearing a tank top so I could feel his touch tingling.

"Don't scream." Damon whispered, removing his hand. "I just came to see you."

I felt the disconnection like a cold death but I held in my disappointment. "Why?" I whispered back, a surprised look materializing over Damon's face.

"I thought you were asleep," he turned over on his back and put both hands behind his head, I stared directly at his lips when he spoke, I liked the way he licked them whenever he took a short break. "I wanted to see you before you left."

"Before I left?" I crinkled my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Damon shrugged. "Don't worry, Stefan filled me in on your little vacation."

I was silent. Stefan had told him I was going? But I wasn't. Still, I couldn't bring myself to deny it, so maybe I should go. "Yeah," I said in a low voice, wishing I could scoot over to him and wrap my arms around his torso. But that wasn't going to happen.

Damon began scooting toward me, eyes on my face, when he was close enough to kiss my lips, suddenly his eyebrows furrowed. "You smell like him."

I was confused. "What?"

Damon sighed, and said in a much softer voice: "I can smell my brother on you."

And just like that I felt dirty, I began moving away from Damon, like I no longer wanted him to smell me when I carried Stefan's tongue kissing aroma, and his soap.

"Sweet dreams, Elena Gilbert." I turned to respond only to find he was gone, and the window wide open, ghostly cold air flowing on my skin.

No, Damon. I wouldn't have sweet dreams, I'd only dream of you and you're not sweet.

You're rough and I like it.


	4. Chapter 4: Something Enigmatic

I was quiet the entire ride to the Gilbert Lakehouse, my jaw clenched with my arms crossed. It basically felt like Stefan forced me to go on this week vacation and I didn't like the feeling. I kept stealing glances of Stefan, making out the small parts of him that resembled Damon, like the hard set of his jaw and the bushy eyebrows, there was no doubt that they were brothers.

Both Damon and Stefan were attractive, Damon in a much darker way. I remember when Damon first came into my bedroom, I was horribly nervous and embarrassed. My cheeks had been burning so hard whenever he looked my way, and just his presence made my palms sweaty.

_(Flashback.)_

_Dear diary, _I had written, _there's something about this man. Something enigmatic, powerful, something that draws me to him in an unconditional way. Maybe it's those eyes, or the dark hair, I don't know wh-_

"Still pouring out your feelings in led, are you?" I looked up, seeing the dark figure in my room as Damon, his hair was wet from the showering rain outside and it was swept back sexily. His eyes were a brilliant blue, like water, the water below the Wickery Bridge, I tried to tear my eyes away but his skin was as white as a sheet.

"Still?" I abruptly got to my feet, face red with anger and frustration. "Have you been spying on me?"

Damon snatched the diary from my hand-"_Let me see that_"-and headed for my bed, he fell on his back. And put a hand behind his head while the other held up the diary. "_Something enigmatic, powerful, something that draws me to him-" _Damon held a sarcastic dramatic look as he read aloud my diary. "_Maybe it's those eyes, or the dark hair." _He was confused as he looked up at me, I was frozen, not able to fight for my journal. My eyes were wide and I was gaping at him, cheeks burning red.

"_Oooh_," Damon smirked, getting to his feet and abandoning the journal on the bed. "I've been with Stefan long enough to know he doesn't sport dark hair, and, no offense, he's definitely not _enigmatic_. So…," he eyes me with his large blue eyes. "Who's the mystery guy, Elena?"

I nearly choked, and the skin on my bare legs were cold. I felt like I was lying in an ocean. Damon was staring at me, gosh he was staring. He didn't know the effect he had on me. "It's no one."

He chuckled, rubbing his hands together vigorously, as if he'd found what he had been looking for. "Oh, this is going to be good. Imagine Stef's face when I tell em'."

I rose my eyebrows, realizing what he'd just said. "Are you..._blackmailing me_?" I asked incredulously, before pushing past him roughly, but his shoulder was so firm that I nearly bounced back and fell on my ass. I strolled over to my bed and snapped my diary shut before shutting it into the drawer.

Damon shrugged. "If that's what you want to call it." He winked and sent me a gleaming grin.

I shook my head, skeptical. "You don't know what you're _talking abou_…" Damon sped forward, I'd never seen him move so fast, he blurred to me. Of all the times I've seen his speed, never like this. He was standing so close the head of his leather shoe was grazing my small bare feet. I was instantly backed into the wall and Damon put a hand over my head. "_What are you doing_?" I whispered.

Damon smirked, his breath tingling my cheeks as I stared at those dusty blue eyes. He was still breathing softly, and being this close, I could smell the scent of his cologne, and for some reason I didn't apprehend bourbon. I wonder what changed tonight. "Getting the truth."

"What does it matter to you _anyway_!?" I was nearly shouting at him as I shook my head. "What does it matter that I'm stupidly fantasising about y-" And I didn't realize how low Damon had inclined his head until he'd mashed his lips against mine, curving his hands on my head to pull me closer. I gasped, frozen in place as his mouth moved aggressively on my own.

It took everything-and I mean EVERYTHING, to stop myself from kissing back, I tried to stand still as he kissed me, pressed his body against mine and whispered words to me. But in the end, it wasn't enough. I was osculating with Damon Salvatore, I shut my eyes and placed my hands on his chest, and I felt him moan deeply under my touch.

When I was finally ready to strip open his t-shirt he drew away, breathing hard as if he'd lost all of his breath. Damon buried his face into my neck and caught his breath. "So it _is_ me." My eyes were still shut as I enjoyed the sound of his voice vibrating through my body, and the wetness of his lips on my neck. I was hypnotized by this man, he must have been doing something to me.

"I'm the _powerful_ and _enigmatic_?"

My eyes snapped open, as I took in what was happening. He'd just kissed me, and I'd kissed him. I'd kissed Stefan's brother. _STEFAN_! Oh _shit_. I was so inconsiderate, Stefan _loved _me and I...Oh my god.

I shoved Damon away roughly, and fixed my tank that he'd been rubbing against.

"Get off me." I snarled. "And GET out of HERE." I jabbed a finger toward the window.

Even as I spoke, the grin grew wider and Damon shrugged his jacket onto his shoulders. "Don't worry, it didn't mean anything, you don't have to tell Stefan."

_It hadn't meant...anything?_

"I mean, you didn't even kiss me back." _But I wanted to. And now I realize the one thing between us._

Before I could voice my thoughts Damon had blurred out the window, and I was left shaking, breathing hard and uncontrollably. I dropped down on the bed, curling my legs up, and cried.


End file.
